crazy\beautiful

right on

2008-11-30T19:53:00.001+08:00

i know that i ought to find someone new

but all i find is myself always thinking of

you*

/wrist.

2008-09-21T12:25:00.004+08:00

people always leave, isn't that true ?

i've learnt that thru nearly twentyone friggin pathetic years of my life

so when you so aggressively show concern am i supposed to believe ?:/

cos life's a bitch.

have always been.

will always be.

there's nothing much you can do about it actually,

you jus don know yet

sigh

good luck with me.

face it, life's a guy.

2006-07-18T22:32:00.000+08:00

things have been fucking up lately
actually
who am i kidding,
things have been fucked up since last year.
but i don't know how much more i can take.
well, peyton's right- people always leave.
whether intentionally or not.
how i wish i can be that person who leaves.
selfish and hopeful, walking away without guilt consuming you from within,
without crying,
without caring.
and truth is- no one's really gonna be there for you
even tho how often or how sincerly they said it
and smartass old gullible shithead of a me had to believe them
and even if theyre there for you, whats next?
maybe for awhile but later when they'll change their minds.
they always do.
cos what youre going through, they don't want to go through too
they've got enough shit of their own to deal with,
an don wanna be caught up in your problems anymore,
not wanting to affect their lives too,
there you are- back to the start.
cos you'd jus have taken one not-so-merrygoround
that landed you more messed up and wounded
than you have ever felt in your whole miserable life.
so well done me,
and well done you if you've ever had a ride on this pathetic side of life.
you end up asking yourself- whether God's loves you as much as they did
and if he did, it really explains why things turned out this way.

-foolish

2006-07-18T22:12:00.000+08:00

see my days are cold without you,

but i'm hurting while i'm with you,

and though my heart can't take no more

i keep on running back to you.

baby i don't know why you treat me so bad

you said you love me, no one above me

and i was all you had.

and though my heart was beating for you

i can't stop crying

i don't know how i allow you to treat me this way and still i stay.

baby i don't know why you wanna do me wrong

see when i'm home, i'm alone

and you are always gone

and boy, you know i really love you

i can't deny

i can't see how you could bring me to so many tears

after all these years.

i trusted you

its so sad, what love can make you do

all the things that we accept

be the things that we regret.

see, when i get the strength to leave

you always tell me that you need me

and i'm weak cos i believe you

and i'm mad cos i love you

so i stop and think that maybe

you can learnt to appreciate me

then it all remains the same that-

you ain't never gonna change.

will you take me home ?

2006-05-26T02:00:00.000+08:00

at least they dont lie
at least they dont hurt on purpose
at least they dont run
at least they dont deny
at least theyre there for them always
at least they never falter
at least they dont punish
at least they dont hide
at least they respect
at least they understand
at least they understand that theyre understood
at least they learn from the past
at least they treasure
at least they do it right
at least they wipe away the tears
at least they try their very best not to cause it again
at least they put in their heart and soul
at least they give their everything
at least they know right from wrong
at least they trust
at least theyre patient
at least theyre kind
at least theyre not deceitful
at least they love,
truly.

2006-05-06T11:09:00.000+08:00

garhh

/wrist

2006-04-12T11:52:00.000+08:00

how much more do you want ?

ive given my all,

there's nothing left.

im so sick of fighting

arguing,

its so draining.

When you love someone and it goes to waste - could it be worse?

If you never try then you never know how much you're worth.

don't stop now

2006-03-16T02:49:00.000+08:00

dopeeedoodooodooo
i'm trying to write a poem about jill
she likes to touch duchess' tail
she loves to receive my mail
oh jill youre super sexy like eels
but your eels don't pay their bills
but oh they so like the thrill
i think jill is ill
she lines snot tissues on her window sill
oh jill youre my pill
:D

i don't know, up to you

2006-03-16T02:30:00.000+08:00

PEEKABOOGUESSWHOOOOMGGITSMEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!! =DDDD
Yours truly brain farting on behalf of dear sacha ann khoo who has been blogging ambigious, melancholic entries of late, which have absolutely nothing to do with the happening happenings that go on in her life.
With me, it's always happening, right woman? Hurhurr. ;)
Can you blog about more interesting things laaa. Mah. Nevermind, I shall do that for you !
Today we went big ben's-ing ! This time we brought the plump blonde one along. Obviously the blondie couldn't keep her mouth water where it belongs, and kept drip dropping her drool AAALL over the floor because her food supplier kept slipping her bits and pieces of fooooodgloriousfoooood. Roar. Like she isn't round enough you know.
Anyways, then we came back to my place and talked about pak choo cheng-ing and the joys it brings the weaker sex. Guys are weirdos.
Now we're on different coms doing our thangs.
Before I go ....
I LOVE YOU WOMANNNN !!! =DDD

okaybyebyehereshecomes =/ .
-
ahem, woman.. i DO blog about perfectly functional meaningful happenings
i talk about the what nots and what ifs and what cans whatttt..
plus you put me in the melancholic mood cos..cos.. your bicycle tire is punctured
and youre going faster than me in driving toy cars. beams satisfiedly*
boys are smelly. yes indeed.
tralallala.. i hEART pu erh teaaaa !!!
it makes me feel ohsorefined (:
and it keeps me awake for my self declared sch holiday tmr.
teehee gigglegiggle*
high pitched voice boys suck and so does those close to them.
grawr. womannnnnnnnnn... ive got writer's block ):
meeeeeep
:/
jill's colourblind

take a fag, fag

2006-03-16T01:55:00.000+08:00

have you ever loved somebody so much
it makes you cry.
have you ever needed sth so bad
you can't sleep at night.
have you ever tried to find the words but
they ~~don't~~ never come out right.
have you ever
have you ever been in love
been in love so bad,
you'd do anything to
make them understand.
have you ever had someone
steal your heart away,
you'd give anything to
make them feel the same.
have you ever
searched for words to get you
in their heart,
but you don't know
what to say
and you don't know
~~where to~~ if you should start.

just cos of you

2006-03-12T22:29:00.000+08:00

only those you love, can cut you deeper than anybody else.

There's no combination of words

I could put on the back of a postcard

No song I could sing

But I ~~can~~ have tryied for your heart

Our dreams, and they are not made out of real things

Like a, scrapbook of photographs

With sepiatone loving

Love is the answer,

At least for most of the questions in my heart

Like why are we here? and where do we go?

And how come it's so hard?

It's not always easy and

Sometimes life can be deceiving

I'll tell you one thing its may not always better when we're together

And all of these moments

Just might find their way into my dreams tonight

But I know that they'll be gone

When the morning light sings

And brings new things

For tomorrow night you see

That they'll be gone too

Too many things I have to do

But if all of these dreams might find their way

Into my day to day scene

I'd be under the impression

I was somewhere in between

With only two

Just me and you

Not so many things we got to do.

I believe in memories

They look so, so pretty when I sleep

but when I wake up,

it ain't so pretty to me

There is not enough time,

And there is no song I could sing

And there is no, combination of words I could say

And I still can't tell you one thing-

If we're better together.

2006-01-14T09:30:00.000+08:00

For whom do I have to keep smiling for?
*
There's no need to argue anymore
I gave all I could but it left me so sore
And the thing that makes me mad
Is the one thing that I had
-
You'll always be special to me
-
I remember all the times we once shared
Watching tv movies on the comfy chairs
But you say it'll work out fine
Was it all a waste of time?
-
Will I forget in time?
You said I was on your mind
There's no need to argue
No need to argue anymore
-
/whatsthepoint

2006-01-12T00:25:00.000+08:00

i’d like to think that i learn from my mistakes

that things from the past wont ever come back to haunt me

that my life wouldn’t be a repeated circle of circumstances

i’d like to think that i’ve broken the cycle

so why is it that everything seems so familiar

Where do you run to when there's no sanctuary?

And no one can help you?

2005-12-31T00:32:00.000+08:00

see,

i don't know why i loved you so much,

i even gave you all of my trust.

you told me that you loved me

but now its all down the drain

you put me through this pain.

i wonder if you know how i feel.

2005-12-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

why did you build me up buttercup baby
just to let me down
and mess me around
and then worse of all
you never called baby when you said you will
but i loved you still
i needed you more than anyone darling,
you know i have from the start.

2005-11-27T02:58:00.000+08:00

the past few days:

were royce/carl's jr filled days.

jael and i stole sunflowers from their flower bouquets

but dan dan gave jia en and i pretty red roses (:

ive got fuggly arm muscles.

george gave more royce's chocolates.

and lakerols (:

carl's jr's manager's name is alvin.

scoopy-Ds guy made a comeback

sebastian keeps giving eugene 5-in-1 tongkat ali ginseng drinks. tskkk :/

i got to see doreen and jia en. beams merrily*

ran down the going-up escaltor again with jael

found out that the weasel is DAMN sneaky

met jess, amanda's friend.

attempted to cut my fringe myself.

got bad blisters on my feet ):

jammed my finger, again.

lost one side of my contacts.

jay and kelly visited (:

so did rik and jill !

and melissa and bryan..

and rachel leeee-eeeee. bah. grimtightsmile*

sofian refused to let me pay for my stuff.

my hair grew.

i got sick of my humps.

went to marina squared then sneaked in to work behind the counter in shorts and my batman tee (:

the marine terrace boy doesn't make me happy anymore.

i realised cancellations of etrial test are bogus cancellations. which suits me fine. gringrinn*

i think i drank too much.

church tomorrow.

then its off to townnn. teeheehee (:

i think im drowning,
asphyxiating.
i wanna break the spell
that youve created.
youre something beautiful,
a contradiction.
how did it come to this ?

-
late nights,
come home.
work rocks,
i know.
he left me roses by the stairs.
surprises lets me know he cares (:
-

i miss my xiaolongbao.

cos i ain't no holla back girl

2005-11-13T04:05:00.000+08:00

dinnered friday night with rah and gab
one fullerton; palm beach; uncle sunny; belly man (:
gab found out the relations of the family.
mahaha
his reaction was totally priceless.
change yr signature laa gabe
GL is cursed. snickkerr*
nerdzoids.
went back to suntec and tiny partyed (:
omggg the lemonade vodka tasted like horse piss.
we made edmund drink it up
and ive got more little ponies !! gringringrin*
cabbed to kims after to supper with jael, hae sung and edmund
ive got edmund's marlboro lights. smirks gleefully*
he's so lousy laa.
he was supposed to bake me my birthday cake, not buy it
grawr.
lorna lim linling (:
met bob this afternoon. carl's jr-ed and movied.
twas meant to be good.
met the rents at parkway to go for dinner then back home for more cake-cutting
i loveee strawberrry royals. gushes and prances into starwberry fields*
gab bought brown havanna slippers and
koh gave a cheese/mousey doorstopper so i'd stop locking my room door.
hahha wth la.
then rik came with zik and jill to pick me
he's the new ahmad (:
he drives damn swervely laa
tsktskk.
i love surprise cookie cakes and i won't deny (:
thanks my oompper frimpy blue haired munchkins !
i heart you many many lorhhxXx -_-"
snicker*
im so tired.
jill's sleeping next to me with pebbles being so manjal.
so sweet laa.
curtseys and rolls away*

eighteen days to go

2005-11-11T00:55:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESH !!!

pls come back soon darls.

we need to go bake under the sun and slurp noodles.

i love you, my 364 days younger-than-me friend.

my little ponies (:

2005-11-11T00:35:00.000+08:00

the past two days had been crazy madness
late night supper with mad ass jael
feifei and kims (:
how stylo only. smirks sneakily*
george gave royce's chocolates last night !
omg omg
they are like DAMMN awesome
then just now he came over to pass me some vanilla orangeyish coffeebean drink
schhwwweeet (: prebirthdays rocks my socks
eugene bought me my little pony who rides along the seaside and cockle shells
sopfhian and sebastian gave ferreroooooo
woohooooo
penny and ashley thinks sopfhian's good-lookingg
mahahaha
he's like our new sandwich and coffee supplier, we wish to think so.
jael and jiaen have been very cunning today
betterrr beware of them sanitizer maddy legs
penny peacocks didn work today so i broke my entire ice cream fast
how i succumb to temptations :/
palm beach dinner with gab and che tomorrow !
gab's treating ((:
oh yeahh.
thats the way, uh huh uh huh, i likee it (:
-
i believe my hokkien will improve if i just eat more hokkien mee

strawberry shortcake blueberry buns

2005-11-09T10:05:00.000+08:00

sleeping behind the ice-cream-shaped holed door is goooooooood

teehee

cocolatte next friday !

can't wait can't wait.

cos ive got mad crazed hyper people for company

how cool laa.

you don't want no drama-

so don't pull on my hand, boy

you ain't my man, boy

im jus tryna dance

of pony rides and bananas-

2005-11-07T01:51:00.000+08:00

went for drinks after work (:

strawberry magarita, kahlua milk and beer.

courtesy of tk.

yayyyheyhey !

omg im so tired.

seven jeans, true religion

i say no

but they keep givin'

so i keep on takin'

and no i ain't taken

myraid of expressions

2005-11-05T23:58:00.000+08:00

i found a new love ((:
penny and i kinda freaked out the yami yogurt guy today.
smirks gleefully*
and im gonna have yami yogurt again tomorrowwwwww !!
and the new subway guy was very prissy today.
we concluded thats prolly the cause of his broken arm.
mahaha
the two new girls are so hyper !
omgg.
they kinda shout at customer when they walk in.
like "HELLLLLLLOOOOO". scary barnny.
we tricked them into wearing maskks
they looked so silly wearing them laa. it looked so wrong !
later on jael and i told them that if they were sick recently, they have to double layer their masks. too bad none of them were.
):
laterr, TK came.
hahaha he thought there was sth wrong with them.
ive decided to go on a week long ice cream fast.
penny's supposed to keep a close watch but she won't be there tmr.
mahahah. rubs hands in glee*
eh no. shite. thats not right.
me thinks im getting sick of my hump.
hahah and its so embarassinggg cos penny's boyfriend saw us dancing to it yesterday :/
terrible terrible. blushes into a red of roses*
churched with calista and aunty maureen today
i still say she's too smart for her age. bloops*
met abby and amanda after
OMG they are SO mad.
talked to david's momma for awhile.
whoopppeee grins merrily*
and got tagged by greg. that clever boy is not that clever after all (:
discussed ratherly serious stuff with abby and manda. right.
got a bit mad after awhile then ideas of- dancing on chairs and wanting to stuff fries up abby's nose cos she was being more difficult then the ought-to-be-strangled person- started creeping into my mind.
curtseys and jumps ard*
then manda and her chickennehneh hair and abby and her mixed up words funnyyness
and abby, CARBONates. pls, you couldn ask for a hintier hint.
then it led to many many atrocious distracting subjects of discussion
tskktskk. wags finger and thins lips*
abby: how come so cunning ? all the texts and tagging. aiyoh. sniickker* how can we ever forget yr "self-low-esteem. IM SERIOUS !" thing ? omg hahah you are so funny la.
manda: one day i'll pounce on you in the bushes and then we can giggle until someone comes to save us.
-
whatcha gonna do with all that junk
all that junk inside that trunk
-
things are different now. even if its just seeing you for a spilt second this evening. i realised things changed. maybe its time for me too. cos i know you won't.
oh. whats the point.

2005-10-28T20:10:00.000+08:00

how cool is this

i'm free

omgomgomgomgomgomg.teeheeheehee

2005-10-27T18:50:00.000+08:00

"i really want you to see I'm changing not just for myself but for us. I will never erase you from my heart cause you're always be a part of me. Forever together. I don't want to break up with you and I hope you feel the same way."

were those words ever true.

you doin' that thing you do.

ive heard this life was overrated

2005-10-11T02:00:00.000+08:00

a hundred days have made me older
~~since the last time that i saw your pretty face~~
a thousand lies have made me colder
and i don't think i can look at this the same
but all these miles that seperate
~~disappear~~ now, when i'm dreaming of your face

im here without you baby
~~but youre still on my lonely mind~~
~~i think about you baby~~
~~and i dream about you all the time~~
i'm here without you baby
~~but youre still with me in my dreams~~
and tonight it's ~~only you and~~ me

and when the last one falls, when its all said and done.
it gets hard ~~but it wont~~ and it may take away my love.

2005-08-02T22:08:00.000+08:00

there was this boy i used to know.

he was my first.

he was so sweet,

he was fun,

he was caring,

he was attentive,

he was the boy ive always wanted.

one day he went away.

where he went, i don't know.

but i lost the boy whom i loved so much.

then i met another,

when ?

i don't know.

cos still enchanted by the first, i was.

and this boy,

he did things to hurt,

and it hurt so bad, it stung.

he strung lies,

he spun tales,

he conjured stories out of thin air,

he made them so real.

these stories i believed.

those words, i trusted.

but promises made were never kept.

the lies piled up,

the last chances didn't mean anything,

my voice was never heard.

the burden i had grew heavier,

his people turned against me.

still, he never did anything,

he promised he would,

he promised he tried.

but these promises were same as the last- they weren't fufilled.

soon he turned into

a creature, a beast, cruel beyond words.

a conscience-less possessive hated figure in my life,

and it overshadowed any goodness he ever had.

he pretended he cared,

he pretended to listen,

he pretended to be the boy i used to love,

he pretended he wanted me to be happy,

he pretended he wanted me to be there,

he pretended whenever he felt like.

those pretences were full of shit,

i'm glad i finally saw thru it.

cos he drove me crazy,

he drove me to the brink of insanity,

he drove me to do things i never dreamt i'd do.

i tried my best,

i really did.

i sheltered him from gossips,

i protected him from them,

i once believed in him,

i once believed he'd change.

yet he let me down,

multiple times.

i tried to accept him for his stupidity,

his insecurity,

his immaturity,

his warped thinking.

he wanted me to.

but it was impossible.

sounds dumb,

but i really really tried.

now, his words i don't believe.

his promises i don't even bother to hear.

his lies left me jaded,

his actions left me scarred.

they all left me feeling so blind,

so stupid,

so regretful,

to believe his nonsense

and not listening to people who truly cared.

and now, this boy, i'll leave in my past.

this boy i'll make insignificant to me.

this boy is history.

i'll cut him out of my life.

i'll forget him soon.

i wouldn't buy his sweet talk,

his emotional blackmail,

and that caring facade.

cos those times ive ever enjoyed with him,

they were all staged,

they were all lies.

they mean nothing now,

they really don't.

i never loved this boy,

and if i ever said i did,

i actually meant the first.

and now, these scars,

these bruises,

these wounds

he caused will finally be healed.

cos i managed to get him out,

out of me.

yes, i still pray,

i still hope,

i still wish

that the boy i first knew comes back.

but he may have drifted so far,

i wouldn't get him back

ever again.

2005-05-09T07:53:00.000+08:00

I MISS YOU

catherine jean and russell andrew and david daniel (:

smirks*

2005-02-21T22:58:00.000+08:00

everybody wants to know her name.

i threw a house party and she came.

everyone asked me,

who the hell is she.

the weirdo with five colours in her hair.

ONE MONTH and EIGHT DAYS earlier.

2005-01-21T17:20:00.000+08:00

ohhhh now youre doing it
slammer.
wahhh too much.

well woman,
-i cooked for you perfectly nice egg-not-swooshy noodles. wasn't it worth it hmm ?
-i love duchess cos of you. it still holds.
-i had ALREADY met mr canary when we were pushing our measly bikes along the hills and valleys of dang siglap. remember ?
-YOU wanted to train duchess to conquer the slide. horrible terrible. tsktsk.
-i took in nigel cos your mama doesnt like cats
-i bought more timtams for you then i bought for myself. hrmprh. bet you didnt know that either. poots.
-who made me wait in the hot roasting torrid sun today while she STROLLS down the linear park ??? huh huh huh. plus i go to your house much more then you come to mine !
(okay. maybe cos the bloody birds at mine house are friggin noisy. but still.. youre always hidden somewhere at the back while i face your traumatising mama when i walk in)
-I MAKE YOU CRY HAPPY TEARS. you make me sad.
-you pinch my backarm flabs like nobody's business. makes me wanna shout rape and curl up and die. garh.
- i don't JUMP IN MY CHAIRRRR
-plus. i didn't delete your entry. not just yet.

now youre the only one who knows:
-my friendster password
-my blog username
-my blog password
-about how i feel about the godson and godma thing
-about rahrahrah
-about mister A, B, C and D
-about us.
beaming with pride yet ? :D

and you always keep me in suspense smirking to yourself so suspicious and scarily in front of the laptop screen while typing these cruel blog entries.
ohhh the fear and terror you traumatise me with.
PLUS I ALREADY TOLD YOU. TOLD YOU. TOLD YOU.
one months and eight days earlier than you told me !
seee laa. still complaining like a little bombinee.
and i shared a salad with you today though i don't fancy rabbit/mice food much.
okay fine. you did share with me pork glory on hariraya's day.
so we're even stevens (:
just for that matter.

psssst. one line per minute !
i love you back ((:
cos youre MY woman and the only one who takes all my shite.
yesyes ? hugggs*

oh, i know how to pronounce caravan la. abominable !

one line per minute.

2005-01-21T16:52:00.000+08:00

sacha won't leave me alone.
go away woman.
the one with many dark secrets.
the one who won't give me a voice.
the one who makes me feel so guilty about nothing.
not that i'm even guilty in the first place.

but despite all this, i still love sacha.
she's
my buddy,
my woman,
my malalafalala.

hurhurrrr.
by the way woman....
-YOU cooked for me 'cos you were bored and felt like cooking.
-duchess loves you too.
-YOU wanted to meet mr siglapview in the first place.
-YOU were the one who wanted to push my duchey-poo down the slide. I'm the one who's catching her most of the time at the expense of my poor fragile-skinned armed which will be all mad clawed and red by the time she's down 'cos she'll be kancheong like spider.
-YOU wanted to take nigel in.
-you buy timtams for yourself too. and i nightmared that you finished them! egad.
-i always wait for you when you're late, and i don't complain when you're late. You leave me waiting outside your house, leaning against the streetlamp like some kind of hooker shit waiting for people to come and ask me "how much".
-i put up with your so called jolly merry songs, that hold an uncanny ability to either make me sing along or depress me.
-you make me cry too k. ASSWIPE.
-you touch my head and i don't jump up in my chair and pull your eyebrows out.
I could go on. But I'm too tired.
And you said you're gonna delete this anyway.
So fine.
I'm stopping here.
And see woman, after all the ordeals that you have dragged me through,
I still l0ve you.
You're still my buddy
my woman
my malalafalala.

Oh yes, and the one who can't say caravan.
Haha.

cos you don't love me. hrmprh.

2005-01-21T11:35:00.000+08:00

AIIIEEEEEEEEEKKKKK
almost DIED last night at jill's house.
she and her professional secret squeezing out methods.
leaving me VERY guilty while at her house
and rather shiveled when leaving.
and her ACCOMPLISHED.
see woman. the pain and sorrow you cause me.
and whambamkazam you forgot the things i do for youuu
-how i cooked perfectly nice instant noodles for you at 4am in the morning.
-how i loveee duchess cos she YOUR dog and even beared her terrible horrible smelling nonstop lavalike flowing saliva.
-how i end up at siglapview with you when we're supposed to be spending quality time together.
-how i helped you catch duchess after you pushed her down her worst enemy slide
-how i took in nigel even tho my house is alr an overwhelming animal fest place
-how i buy timtams for you all the way from australia just for you.
-how i go breakfast with you and end up waiting at the stupid provisionshop at the corner looking like some senile idiot
-how i don't sing blame it on the boogie all the time cos you dont like it much.
-how i entertain you with christmas jolly merry songs
-how i tell you EVERYTHING.. uhm so far ? except that.
-how manage to make me cry even tho im just talking to you on msn. bloody-freaking-always-dcing msn.
-how i REFILL your puerh tea for you with no complains and without muttering lazyjill under my breath
-how i have to wake you up to go for morning mass with me
-how i told you and probably only YOU and no one else bout RAHRAHRAH.
-how i told you EVENTUALLY when i told you i'l tell you after prelims.
-how i told you about youknowwho tho you werent the only person who knew
-how you were the FIRST to find out that im totally over him at last. bet you didn know that huh huh huh ?
-how i stood with you behind pubic hair boy the whole mass and.. and.. protected you. HA.
-how you kept your sleazyyy secret from me just cos i didnt ask. hmprph.
-how i went over to your house at 5am in the morning cos our once-upon-a-time jade wasnt drinking its milk.
-how i went home with you to get your atm card and offered to go with you to satisfy your consistent craving for lemon chicken.
aiyah jilll.. the things i do for youuu.
NOW DONT SAY IM EVIL ANYMORE PLEASEEEEEE !
plus il gladly check your silly singpass for you. if you just asked ((:
and now if i die tmr you'll feel SO guilty cos you made me feel SO baddd.
hahahahahaha
and the BIG secret. yes. you'l know eventually..
remember ? one month and nine days more.
yupps.
smirks*
wait wait wait laa pls ):

R.I.P - not.

2005-01-21T03:40:00.000+08:00

jill is complaining about me.

Sacha's evil.
Evil evil evil evil.
She doesn't tell me anything.
She never tells me anything.
And now, there's this GARGANTUAN secret that she's keeping from me.
Anyone know what it is?
Someone HAS to know.
oh my god.
they know and I don't know?
Thank you woman.
thank you very much.
i feel so loved by you now.
my buddy.
my woman.
my malalafalala.
If I die tomorrow, you will feel SO guilty 'cos you didn't tell me.
you're damn mean la.
I just told you a damn big secret and now you don't wanna tell me your damn big secret.
and yes, I am still typing.
while you:
sit on my sofa,
hug my cushions,
eat my food,
drink my drinks,
watch my tv,
keep me awake,
make me cry,
slack on my patio while drinking my pu erh tea,
mock me while you're on the phone with what's his name.
So evil.
Evil evil evil.
Now you're saying that it's your fault that i didn't check my singpass thingy because i was going cycling with you.
thanks uh.
Don't worry, this isn't that long.
I'm hurt.
Ouch.

But even if i die tomorrow, you'll still be
my buddy,
my woman,
my malalafalala.

....the one that didn't let me rest in peace.

love hurts.
=)

yesterday

2005-01-19T17:29:00.000+08:00

blogger just swiped away my superly long entry.
i feel so pissed and cheated :/
now i need to do the deep breathing exercises`
garhh. never thought i wld need to apply it so soon.
anw. i'll be lazy and write in point form then.

-my daddy's cool he's playing air drums with my bro's drumsticks singing to daddy's home
-acj-ed with jesh yesterday
-we're getting pro at crashing
-grumpy security guard's name is EDWARD LEE
-hugh left for melbourne last night
-rubic cube didn't flaunt his skills no more
-i can't rem his name. too chinesey for my chinese malfunctioning brain.
-bought icecream from jan
-ate yummy acj stingray with jesh
-bummed ard alot with xuan and qianqi
-seeing the usual people at the voiddeck
-matthew wan's quite slow
-went econs lect
-jesh getting all kanchiong spider cos the madass teacher apparently headcounts the whole lt
-having only 30 mins of econs due to seating complications.
-killing boredom by writing jesh a read-only-in-melbourne letter on her notes.
-chicken riced at canteen after lect
-left to meet gavin at buonavista mrt
-finding out i gave wrong directions
-learning about threezerotwos on the way to acj
-sneaking back in to look at pretty art pieces
-bob complaining it was damn hot
-walking in wrong direction to fairfield bus stop
-realising my orientation for the day was screwed
-commenting rather loudly on the horrendous fairfield uniforms
-gavin getting punched and pinched alot along the way
-he and his fist of fury
-ashley and abel calling to play soccer
-lunchnered at ikea
-occasional random stoning at almost anything and long periods of silence, getting gavin all irritated
-woman with skirt riding down, looking obscene
-bob needing to go for confession cos of a drink
-raiding his bag finding his pe kit and secret english book which needed special attention
-Discipline, Integrity and Honesty
-waiying called
-meeting asha and gladys joy ((:
-196ing to bedok
-rather uncommon discussion topics on the bus
-christina tan calling
-gavin complaining my uniform was too revealing
-deep breathing exercises
-getting very pinched cheeks
-him seeing linus
-i getting hunted down and fleeing linus
-bloody cabs all not wanting to come
-walked home
-fed jade
-jade taking half an hour or maybe longer to eat
-tired

you make me wanna

2005-01-19T01:37:00.000+08:00

bury my head under the pillow and giggle.
grin from cheek to cheek.
clap my hands for ten hours consecutively.
squeak gleefully.
bellow loudly and laugh and laugh and laugh.
smile and smile and smile.
squirm amongst my sheets and five pillows.
do cartwheels over and over and over again.
kiss jade and hold her real tight.

oh dear :/

fat boy

2005-01-17T18:41:00.000+08:00

fat boy, originally uploaded by blimey-.

there he is, the acj fat boy (:

don't blame it on the boogie either-

2005-01-17T03:03:00.000+08:00

jill always knows how to make me feel better.
she makes me feel transparent.
then she knows exactly when i am sad and when im just being plain retarded.
which is sometimes good cos otherwise, i'll refuse to open up.
the friday night/saturday morning long talk really helped.
thanks.
and woman, its not that im not telling you anything.
its cos sometimes i don't even know why i feel like that.
its weird la. i know.
but i know you can take my terrible weirdness and my neverending mood swings.and swings and swings.
and my unusual extreme grumpiness when im at home,
stuck with two of the noisiest birds in the universe.
you'll always be
the one and only awesome cycling buddy,
the one who beared ashley's smell in con2 camp,
the one who's jade's other best friend,
the one who movie marathons with me and gives her grandma a shock in the morning,
the one who brewed pu-er tea for me to discover how yummy it is,
the one who attends sunday mass with me,
the one who dreams about stuff that scarily happens to me later,
the one who taught me how to cook scrambled eggs(shells),
the special siglapview girl who gets her feet massaged,
the one who goes with me to the church grotto in the night,
the one who's fourleggedsacha's best friend's owner,
the one who didn't talk to me from p2 till con4,
the secret keeper,
the precious playground bestie (:
(we who push animals down the slide)
and you'll always be my woman. and i'll always be yr woman.
now, that sounds sickly lesbo. but nvm. i know you can take it. haha.
okay, now we'll have to find deb a new name cos we can't call her woman anymore.. ((:

without youu huh jill, i'd prolly be stumbling over and over again and i really thank God for youuu. my sweet malalafalala. beams*
i love you and i mean it <3

thursday/friday-WOW.

2005-01-17T02:29:00.000+08:00

thurs: jesh calling to tell abt hugh's bitchyly terrible horrendous scheming downright lowly mom. aiyahh. i dont know what to do also.. and that makes me feel so awfully terrible ):

fri: crashed ac with jesh. met up with hugh, charmelia, brandon, huiying, anne, xuan, phashant, raj, matthew and matt, natasha marblahblah, andre, rubic cube boy, offtheboat inidan boy, then i forgot who else.
also saw kenneth, sue, moses, jamie, paul, joel, joanna, debbie, mark, and so many moreee.
okay laa. ac's not bad. but i still prefer cj (:
snuck out early, running past the security guard, after getting detained for a bit cos of some pao tou ac i guys.
but we were efficiently out by one. HA !
stopped by ikea cos hugh had a craving for swedish meatballs while jesh had to have her hotdogs.
wondered around for awhile. staring at random happy things like pink dustbins, pretty stained glass mirrors and finally, deciding beeswax floors looked the nicest.
cabbed to eastcoast bakchormee.
amusing cab driver that called everything hongmao and angmoh, cars, houses, our accents.
then at the same time giving us mandarin lessons :/
then to jesh's house.. bummed abt while doggy tried plummeting me with her awful saliva.
drinking ribena. reading letters written in p3. talking about random stuff.
next, cabbed to hugh's place.
stayed to talk for a little. made him do the rubic cube. very pro (:
makes me dizzy watching him do it so fast tho. he and his sudden bursts of speed..
then finding his funny i-shan't-mention-its-title book. sniggerrs*
poked about his mac and tried very hard to use his wireless bluetooth mouse.
then walked to singapore swimming club, on the way, feeding our beliefs that dunman high and chueng cheng high are superly communist schools in disguise.
tea with jesh's mom, jesh and hugh.
funny, how i find talking to jesh's mom much easier than talking to mine.
now im decided where to go. beams-accomplished*
saw 15-inch waist woman in changing room when jesh excited pulled me out from the toilet section to check her out while i was amidst my hair tying business.
its like super tiny squuuezzeedddd like nobody's business. scary sia :/
jesh's mom sent me churching. the long car convo was good for me.
found out that theirs is a 5 generation sc family. how cool is thatttttt ?
squirms*
now im not scared of jesh's mom anymore (: heeehee.
tsunami massed with gavin. cos i couldn't find the mother.
aiyah. i should try to get more used to not being able to find her.
):
but mass was fun with gavin. so im not complaining.
tumbles in daisy fields*
OH I FORGOT. I SAW A FAT FAT FATTTT BOY IN AC (((: DAMN FAT !
i'll post the picture soon or sth. yay yay yay. ive got fat boy's picture.
hurhur.
the mother sent indian woman home after mass. she's not smelly.
so i shouldn't really bother much.
note to self: try to get used to strangers sitting next to me in the car too. regardless of smell. strikes chest*
i learnt a new word today: mar-varh-dee. grins proudly*

so much for that happy ending.

2005-01-15T14:23:00.000+08:00

She woke up and remembered the disappointment of the night before.
Her puffy eyes and battered heart betrayed her need to forget that she spent the night waiting for the moment.
A moment that would never happen.
As she pulls her hair back and stands against the morning breeze, her face pulling from the tears that have dried on her cheeks,
She prays that the new year will be kinder.

She feels unwanted and useless.
A huge part of her wants to just let go of everything that she had been hanging onto for the last three years of her life and start all over.
No regrets, just a fountain of memories.
Unfortunately, or not, she doesn't think it's that simple.
But it could be.

She should name those identical puffy eyes of hers.
Since they appear ever so often in the mornings.

when the fairytale ends, maybe.

2005-01-12T14:10:00.000+08:00

im tired of not being okay

im tired of saying things are okay

tim tired of running away

im tired of staying away

im tired of waiting

im tired of hiding

im tired of the formalities

im tired of the thorny silences

im tired of the secrets

im tired of the small talk

im tired of the insinuations

im tired of the pretences

im tired of the whispers

im tired of those looks

im tired of being different

im tired of being singled out

im tired of being out-of-place

im tired of being alone

im tired of being wrong

im tired of trying-to-be-right

im tired of tiptoe-ing

im tired of feeling bad

im tired of getting hurt

im tired of the tears

im tired of.. just being tired

im tired of this place

im tired of living

you girls have your own superheroes

now i only have one request..

please take me home ?

cherry runs

2005-01-11T23:11:00.000+08:00

you know it feels when youre so frustrated

and all you do is just scream and shout

hoping you'l make some sense of yr frustration

amidst all the confusion

you know how it feels when youre too tired to cry

but not only do silent tears roll down yr cheek

but uncontrollable sobs get choked in yr throat

and then, you sound lik youre gasping for life

who are you ? really.

have i know you from the days of old ?

do i really like what i know of you ?

this cant go on anymore-

im so tired. so drained. so empty.

soulless.

jade

2005-01-11T20:56:00.000+08:00

jade., originally uploaded by blimey-.

jadee

2005-01-11T20:55:00.000+08:00

jadee, originally uploaded by blimey-.

jadeee

2005-01-11T20:51:00.000+08:00

jadeee, originally uploaded by blimey-.

we help save lifes by cycling.

2005-01-10T17:50:00.000+08:00

jill and i went cycling last night.
we found a kitten.
wanted to name it *
but we didn't know its sex.
so mel helped to check.
along the way.
called the poorthing hesheit.
still weren't sure.
so called it jade.
unisexish name.
but hesheit looked more boyish.
so we wound up with nigel.
its looked nigelish to jill and i.
o wells.
nigel slept an slept.
jill and i waited an waited for it to get up.
but nigel just continued sleeping and sleeping.
so i cycled and cycled home.
then i talked and talked to jill online till nigel woke up.
then jill tried and tried to feed nigel.
but nigel kept squirming and squirming.
so i cycled and cycled over to jill's house at 3 sth.
then jill let and let me into the house.
so dangerous and dangerous to let someone into the house so late at night la jill.
then together we fed and fed nigel.
he drank and drank the milk.
but just a little a little only.
while duchess scratched and scratched at the door.
then we brought and brought her out to the living room.
stroked and stroked him till he fell and fell asleep.
then i cycled and cycled home.
very tired and tired i was.
and now im very very not making much and much sense.

jill's is my psychic telepathic buddy.
she knew i was sad.
and i love her very and very and very muchos.
and im the biggest shareholder in a department.
it makes me happy and happier.
and her dreams are very very powerfully psychic.
while my dreams are lagging and lagging.
i should go jump off the building or sth.
garh.

has the sleighbells has stopped ringing

2005-01-09T20:12:00.000+08:00

We're really all just pretending.

He says something and I laugh.

Was it funny ? Not really, but he thought it was.

She knocks and I say 'come in'.

I shut the door to keep them out.

But she smiles so sweetly, my frustrations meaning nothing to her.

And I can only smile back.

I laugh. Was I happy ?

No. But they expected it.

And maybe I just needed it as much as they did.

It seems we've just found ways of convincing ourselves that life isn that bad.

That 'everything is as good as we make it'.

Don't you see it though ?

We're all alone.

No amount of time spent together will ever make us feel like we belong.

No amount of laughs shared will make us truly get along.

No amount of tears shed will ever make us feel understood.

No amount of love you give will make you feel loved in returned.

But every now and then, we get lucky and we meet someone cool.

Someone we share an inckling of a connection with.

I think you probably just caught each other taking a break from the game.

it jes isn the same anymore.

a little hollowish.

a little less than what i expected.

maybe its finally over.

then can i do my victory dance now ?

will it make me feel more accomplished ?

so glad like glad wrap

2005-01-02T21:02:00.000+08:00

im so so soooo happy happy
lik happily happy happy
too happyy to get angry
too happy to get sad (:
too happy to get prissy
too happy to get madd
too happy to get snappy
too happy to get all sensitive an bleahhh (:
yesyesyesyes hAPPPPYYYY. WELL,
happy enough to talk to erine an bert constantly again
happy enough to shout.. shout.. blabbberishh.

ahhhhhhhh i wanna screamm an jump an hophophop an do cartwheels into the skyyy.
finally got whatt i regretted doin lik what.. five months ago ?
so it was all gooddd. borin tho for two hours or so.
but that laughter cracks me up an embarasses me at the same time :/
then got our photo an yr present.
very very prettyyy. wrapped dammn nicely too.
haha yesyes you chose it all. ribbon too.
my clever boy.

i lovee it ((:

damn it. now i cant stop grinnin.
*gringringringringrin*

i been lookin mad recently.
cos these past two days ive bein givin sudden bursts of smiles.
not those subtle ones, mind you.
but those big widee ear to ear ones.
veryvery silly, id say.
but if they only knew how i feel inside.
bleeedeeeblooohblahhblahh heex (:

where are you christmas

2004-12-26T23:27:00.000+08:00

christmas eve midnight mass wit jill mel jill's mom gavin an amanda.

an so its sunday,
got yr present wrapped.
its given.
stayed awake to write yr card til three am.
its given too.
yes, it turned out veryvery messy an horrendous.
our christmasday photo taken. yr act cool stamfordraffles pose. wit our happy retarded smiles.
pure blisss*

then yr fourteentwentyseven text came.
happinesss for jes a moment.
an somehow it never returned.
an now,
i wish i cld hav done better
cos now,
i feel lik shite
i feel so helpless
i feel miserably happy
i feel bloodyhell pathetic.
is christmas supposed to turn out this way ?

my mirage-

"I can't believe you remember wat i liked, thank u."
cos you jes don know.

2004-12-25T14:33:00.000+08:00

SHITE. JES GET OVER IT.

his name is nicholaas

2004-12-19T23:11:00.000+08:00

my mind is currently in such a bad state i feel lik itl explode anytime soon.
damn bloody confused

how can sth seem so right, but at the same time, yet so wrong ?
its so.. unrealistic, i feel, to be trapped within yrself.
hurry, mind, get unconfused !

friday, bbq day.
veryy interestinn eh jaslyn ?
besides the occasionally attackin pellets of rain every once in awhile
everything else was goood
beams lazilyy*
i cooked the fried rice (:
an marinated the chicken wings wit gavin an damien. glances at chicken blood*
much entertainment provided by david who told uncalled for secrets
how smart. hurhur :\
9 sth when he had to go home COS HE HAD A CURFEW
reason bein he had another parrttyy tmr an he has to
go home an COOK DINNER
an roast lamb or some crap..
anw he was dammn mad sia-
david the chinese teacher cum mat,
david the don-use-e-fuckword guy,
david the sorparno charlottlechurch oholynight singer,
david the shakespearean who only knew "friends, romans, countrymen lend me yr ears" an "romeo, romeo wherefore art thou romeo"
david the embarrasser,
david the guy who got high on charcoal smoke,
david the chauvinist,
david the gay,
david the cookin controller..
yeahh you get the point.
its lik practically his party or sth la.
hang-on girl. very wise term used. very right (:

then ther were long walks wit rancell along the beach
havin uncommon serious convos abt relationships an all..
to findin the tehtarik man outside macs
an orderin horrible teh sitarik which tasted a whole load lik eggshells
*pouts indignantly.
cheat my money onlyyy !
then ther was apple bob tryin to steal my dinosaur cap away an squirmin wit ice down his back (;
jonathan who was rather comfortable bein called a charsiewbao
reuben the RI boy on skates who keep rollin rather much gracefully over my toes over an over..
damien, RG boy. what else do i need to say.
darrell an marie, felicia an cheryl.
hahaha i know whos bob scareddd of (:
a couple of others too la. but i forgot their names :/
ooops *runs an hides in ashley's bushes.
midnight chats are the thing to go noww.. tho i miss amanda comin online to bully gavin wit me.
very fun *beamms sinfully.
(self note: confess bullyin sin)

then sunday 1030 mass wit mands (:
very bad of me. late again. came in an sat wit her wit that RACKETY kneeling thingamajig.
ohh GOLLLYY ! how distractingg laaa.
but it was all good. saw lauren, sweeet child that one (:
my fav student after ryannn. heh.
went down after mass. saw felicia an francine.
ran away wit amanda *looks ard guiltily.
went into canteen bought tasteless yucky doughsticks an fnished half of it
swapped wit mands cos she claimed her cabbage was expired !
hurhurrr (:
it was alright. im still alive, all tasty.
sat ard ATE PUTUMAYAMM wit my BARE HANDS an nasilemak fishh
waitin for bob cos we saw chaichee ard an decided to try that shoulder thingy on him.
its was hilariousss !
he got so freaked out laa.
david came down wit him an he was dammn mean !
he was sth lik " i see a girl an a boy" wthh la
meano
then amanda pointed his pimple on the nose out
then he was so prouddd of it wit all the "its a sign of youth" rubbishhh.
purdddyy (;
then saw rahhh. asked him how many hses he built
haha HE DIDN BUILT ANYY !!
jes painted them or sth an made TWENTY new sabah kid friends.
how cool. told him i chat wit them online. amanda thought he looked scaryyy.
wheee ! an all the while i thought i was the only one..
nigel was still dwellin on the bus last saturday
wahahha
he thgt he was dreamin or sth.
silly bollywood boyy *sniggger,

aunty catherine asked me abt gillian.
faints an curls up*
oh gilliann.. why are youu so popularrr ??
tao yan. smirks*

I SAW BRANDON DARRYL AN RUSSELLL. beambeambeammm*
lunch wit bran tmr !

time. and. again.

2004-12-12T15:31:00.000+08:00

i thought we'd be okay.
but.. NOOOO !

everythingg jes resonates in my mind.

this sucks

when will this foolish game ever end ?

*arggrrhh*

why do i still care so much when

you don even seem to bother .

/bloody fool

for boy who liks green*

2004-12-09T15:53:00.000+08:00

when you hav to look away

when you don hav much to say

thats when i love you

i love you jes that way

to hear you stumble when you speak

or see you walk wit two left feet

thats when i love you

i love you endlessly

an when youre mad cos you lost a game

forget im waitin in the rain

baby i love you

i love you anw

cos heres my promise made tonight

you can count on me for life

cos thats when i love you

when nth you do can change my mind

the more i learn

the more i love

the more my heart cant get enough

thats when i love you

when i love you

no matter what

so when you turn to hide yr eyes

cos the movie, it made you cry

thats when i love you

i love you a little more each time

an when you cant quite match yr clothes

or when you laugh at yr own jokes

thats when i love you

i love you more than you know

an when you forget that we had a date

or the look that you give when you show up late

baby i love you

i love you anw

so heres my promise made tonight

you can count on me for life

cos thats when i love you

when nth you do can change my mind

the more i learn

the more i love

the more my heart cant get enough

thats when i love you

when i love you no matter what

chestnuts roasting on an open firee-

2004-12-07T05:29:00.000+08:00

haven updated much eh ?

o wells,
ok for the past month then..

perth- alright.
besides kenny draggin me on the gravel while chasin the postman
yupp :
shockin jill- terribly amusingly fun.

birthday day- boringg.

late night birthday shopping wit jill- rushed spooky exciting.

shockin jas- o sillly me..

post birthday- wicked (:

confirmation 3 camp-
what can i say ?
its the ultimate.

lourdes- entertained.

xmas carols- revived.

amanda- missed.

auntie catherine- sweet.

flight school- lost.

siva- pleased.

de witt- amusing.

midnight escapades- abolished.

sacha- guilty an feelin terribleee.

feelin lik i don deserve that nice nice absolutely glam way of dyin a macs death anymoree ):

screw itt *passes down plates of luminous chicken*

random thought-

2004-12-01T15:57:00.000+08:00

i jes thought of a perfect death scenario (:

1. i eat nice food frm macs
2. i die frm eatin the one an only spoilt expired mouldy meat patty in the whole wide franchise of macs
3. my parents sue the stripey pants off macs
4. macs' so rich, a few million wldn really mattter
5. im dead, happy wit prolly a cheeseburger in my terrible fatty stomach
6. my family lives happily wit macs money which can get them through centuries.

the end.
wicked idea isn it ?
i likeee (:

where

2004-11-12T05:34:00.000+08:00

Where do you run to when there's no sanctuary ?

And no one can help you ?

sometimes, you wait so long for sth

but when it comes,

it jes doesn feel it that way anymore.

when does obsession begin and when does it end ?

2004-11-09T15:40:00.000+08:00

on my own

pretending he's beside me

all alone

i walk with him til morning

without him

i feel his arms around me

and when i lose my way

i close my eyes an he has found me*

in the rain

the pavement shines lik silver

all the lights
are misty in the river
in the darkness
the trees are full of starlight
an all i see is him an me forever an forever.

an i know its

only in my mind

that im talking to myself an

not to him

an although i know that
he is blind

still i say theres a way for us*

i love him

but when the night over

he is gone

a river's jes a river

without him

the world ard me changes

the trees are bare an everywhere the streets are full of strangers

i love him

but everyday im learning

all my life

ive only been pretending

without me

his world will go on turning

the world is full of happiness that

i have never known

i love him

but

only on my own-

it's days like this where nobody seems to be there for you

lik everyone pulled a m.i.a stunt on you

an you feel lik youre all alone

so alone

wanting so desperately for someone to be able to hug you//

after the sun the rain

2004-10-26T13:05:00.000+08:00

yes

she did it again

sacha made a come back

this time,

more powerful,

more impactful,

an definitely more memorable.

why, yes !

how o how sacha,

do you always manage to make such a fool out of yrself ?

an the embarassment so great !

in front of someone you loveee so much.

well done.

now,

go blow yr bloody brains out

but before you do that

make sure you put yr bloody hp keypad on automatic lock,

please.

omg

for the entire

one minute

eleven seconds.

screwed

arhgh

[fifteen o two \ fifteen o five]

the return of the jigglin rats

2004-10-25T14:56:00.000+08:00

today was GOOD !
happy wave + huge grin definitely made my day.
it meant so much :)
its been so long
plus brandon's surprise taptap on my shoulder ((:
yay ! he sneaked back last sun but is goin tmr :/
still,
im so sooo happy ! delighted ! flutteringly oogalicious pleaseddd !
*clings on tightly to sock*

i like the sunshine
i like the daffodails
i like mountains
i like the green hills
i like to walk in the doo-wah-pa-doo, wah-pa-doo, wah-pa-dooooo
*muaah

-i dun agree with balloons

2004-10-22T14:52:00.000+08:00

five more days
i dun wanna go to perth..
"as a full-blooded member of my race i think i may claim to be the first- but i hope, not the last- to produce an enduring record of our customs, beliefs and imagining"
hurhur
got this from the fifty dollar aussie bill.
mine does smell strongly of vitamin B tho..

2004-10-04T14:17:00.000+08:00

dear friend,

my love for you is deeper than the ocean and greater than any need in your heart. if you'd only realise how i care. i died jes for you. my Dad sends his love. i want you to meet Him. He cares, too. so, please call me soon. no matter how long it takes, i'll wait because i love you..

Your friend,

Jesus

2004-09-27T12:32:00.000+08:00

dear friend,

my sky became cloudy and my tears were rain. i love you. oh, if youd only listen. i really love you. i try to say it in the quiet of the green meadow and in the blue sky. the wind whispers my love throughout the treetops an spills it into vibrant colours of the flowers. i shout it to you in the thunder of great waterfalls and compose love songs for bands to sing for you. i warm you with the clothing of my sunshine and perfume the air with nature's sweet scent..

2004-09-20T14:50:00.001+08:00

dear friend,

the next day i exploded a brilliant sunrise into a glorious morning for you. but you woke up late and rushed off to work-- you didn even notice..

2004-09-13T11:50:00.000+08:00

dear friend,

as I watched you fall asleep last night, i wanted so much to touch you. i spilled moonlight onto your face-- tricklin down your cheeks as so many tears have. you didn even think of me; i wanted so much to comfort you..

jes a thought-

2004-09-06T08:08:00.000+08:00

dear friend,

i jes had to write to you to tell you how much i love you and care for you. yesterday, i saw you walkin and laughin with your friends; i hoped that soon you'd want me to walk along with you, too. so i painted a sunset to close your day and whispered a cool breeze to refresh you. i waited. you never called; i jes kept on lovin you..

thrill jill !

2004-09-05T14:52:00.001+08:00

went breakie wit jill today !!!
oh i miss you womann.
all the sneaky sneakin into fullerton thennn, esplanade.
hmrph. only go wit rrrrrrrrr-awr.
fallalalala. nvm ! its alright !!!
im not jealous.
coss. ive got my somewhere out there to singalong wit ((:
yupp ! along with ddddddddd-uh *smirksss.
yay yayyay !
anw. went to church after that. teachin math is becomin more an more unfufilin.
ha. i don know. the feelin is different now.
its lost in me.
but.. whatever laa. its a commitment i made :/
too bad. so sad ):
mass was alright. i guess.
didn sit wit mummy tho.
cos anw, she had gillian right beside her.
whats the use of accompanyin her.. see the pt ?
yes.
went home myself.
omgg ! saw gabriel peanuthead baskin in his uniform on the porch.
eeeks. so.. so.. un-him :}
was abt to slip into neverendin night boredom when.. JILL CALLED !!!
oh i love you womann !!
so we went for a walk.
which was a bad bad bad mistake.
cos night walks wit sacha durin seven mth is a nono.
jill suffered frm terrible injuries.
half concsious an barely survivin the night.
badly bruised an had internal bleedin.
haaa (: weelll.. actually, its not all THAT bad.
maybe jes the badly bruised part.
squashed veins an powdered bones. meatball.
*sniggersnigger (",)
cos jill.. WHO ASK YOU TO KEEP SCARIN MEEE ??
frrrrooops*
you an your white flyin thing an your mask hse. an my flag hse.
eeyeer. scaryness.
so.. tottered of to her hse after the streets lights conveniently went off.
duchessss an sashaaa. oooh. sweeet thangs (:
i likeee. puurrs*
went to feed cats in her backyard- cleo, tiger an slowloris :)
tigertigertiger. rwaaarr !
tv shows on saturday nights are borinnggg.
so watched vcds instead.
tried watchin adaptation. but.. wth was goin on ? we don know.
then tried watchin 40 days & 40 nights. an it was so *yawnnn.
then there was angel eyes. another don-know-whats-goin-on film.
finalllyy.. we got down to.. hey arnold! the movie ((:
yippee. bestest of the day. you beat em all arnoldd !
but owells. we soon got sick of lil arnold. or maybe its jes me.
so jill was lik: "i wanna eat sth"
me: "what ?"
jill: "i wanna cook sth but im lazy to wash."
haha. we botthh ended up coookiiinn up a storm in the kitchen.
scrambled eggs. she taught me how to cook it. mmm mmmm (:
hahah woman ! youree weird !!
"can you break some egg shells an throw em in. i lik it that way."
wheeee. huggs* love you- weird or not.
your hse is sinfully foodie. i shall hav to tape my mouth the next time i go there.
reaches for temptingly glistenin lemon puffs*
oh an.. THANKS FOR THE SHORTSS !
ooohlala. its perfect (:
youre my lovely sugary sweet malalafalala. smirrks*
thanks jill ! the koped filter paperr is aweesome !
an yes.you make my peepers go round an round (;
-
somewhere out there
beneath the pale moonlight
someones thinkin of me
an lovin me tonight
somewhere out there
someones sayin a prayer
that we'l find one another
in that big somewhere out there*
i wish itl be you.

2004-09-04T17:28:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

JASLYN ! :}

J cos ure my jigglipoppinski *

A cos ure the apple of my eye too !

S cos youre.. my sneaky sweet thing, MY soulsista.

L cos i lllloveee you !!

Y cos you..you.. yak too much *snigger. yaya noisy banana :]

N cos u taste as good as republic chili noodles !!!

hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista,

hey sista, go sista soul sista, go sista :0)

2004-09-02T14:59:00.000+08:00

starlight

starbright

first star i see tonight

wish i may

wish i might

get the wish i wish tonight *

i miss you.

1t30

2004-09-02T14:07:00.000+08:00

finallly ! met justin, jaslyn, alvin, amanda, puay, rom, clara an aidan.
went chaletin at pasir ris.
it was fun !!! an full :\
hahah ate nonstop. satay, noodles, watermelon, chickenwings, sandwiches, samosas, chips, butter crackers, soggy vege, brocolli an tofu.
koko crunch. one whole big box.
amanda an jaslyn. my gorgin buddies.
haha clara cldn find it the next morn. shhh.
played foosball wit justin.
ha ! won him twicceee !
jaslyn, we're so powerfulll ! lifts weights indignantly*
omg ! met clara's cousin. alicia.
she's so so so so soooooooo pretty !!!
kinda caucasian.
her eyes are so bigg an round an.. ohh.. i don know what to say- indescribable.
an her hair an... allll.
beauty personified. butterflies marches ard bishan pond*
she's jes six :0
she sure does know how to throw tantrums tho.
went seashell scoutin wit her.
an the playgrd too.
ohhhh. the swirlin thing is horrible.
amanda twirled me til i wanted to puke.
i cldn move after that.
haha lousy meee :/
then played touch rugby with jaslyn an amanda.
haha jes one game. ONE. one. one. hurhur :]
didn really sleep much at nighht cos it was freezin our feet off.
so amanda, alvin, justin, aidan, jaslyn an i wound up chattin at the table in the garden.
ohhh that.. that.. alvin. tried scarin us abt the guy who went to kl, was left alone in e room an was never found again .
i was the only idiot who believe him larhh. growll.
gullible nehh. pouts at posies*
then clara tried scarin me wit the mango tree.
i must try to be a brave young lionn.
yes indeedd.
played xbox too ! some car racin (:
haha im not the louiesttt !!!! yay.
played it wit jaslyn when everyone else snuggled under whatever extra clothes they could find.
needed to brush up my drivin skills in north pole :z
an..an..we were supposed to go fishin too but it looked kinda pathetic an was a total ripoff.
so.. haha. ate ice cream :/
all cornetto. wheedeedee !
ahh.
my thoughts are screwed up now.
my brain cant link words together properly.
i ought to go settle amongst my sheets.
yes.

i miss sc

2004-09-02T13:48:00.000+08:00

wen back to sch yest (((:
an yes i mean sc.
i don think id ever regard ngeeann as my sch.
yikes. the thought that makes me pale.
anw. we were so last minute, we cldn decide what to buy.
wound up buyin a hugee hilton marblecake for them.
went to the staffroom.
-
saw miss sie first.
she has diabetes. poots :/
poor woman.
tho she gives us back essays soaked in her perfume, wit splotches of her chihuahuas' pees.
tho she lets us sit outside lit class waitin for her half the time.
tho she loads essays an reports on us wit impossible deadlines.
tho she forgets that she actually has a lesson wit us.
tho she scolds us more than she teaches.
tho she grabs our asses an gives us lesbian hugs.
tho she tortures us wit weekly reports an learnin an vocabulary journals.
tho she gives us tests on the first day of school.
tho she makes us watch gruesome abortion videos an honour killins an do reports.
tho she makes us do her work for her.
she holds a place in my heart.
ahhh. but she doesn really care much i gues.
i mean, not takin her medicine an all.
hurrr. stupid chihuahua woman.
i miss how she bribes us wit pizzas.
how we can distract her jes talkin abt chihuahuas an the whole lesson can be diverted,
how she feeds us wit her lame jokes,
how shes so disorganise wit her work,
how she lectures us usin humongously hard words thats suppose to make us feel guilty an cry, but we jes sit comfortably at our seats starin at her, so used to it,
how she scolded the pizzahut man for us,
how she tries to stand up for 4 courage,
how we can make her freakin proud of us,
how we can bully her durin lit lessons,
how we make her take us to the koipond, peranakangarden or canteen for lessons anywhere except the smelly classroom,
how our discussions durin lit lessons, so cozy, so close, so united,
how she argues wit annemarie on juliuscaesar,
how she ties help us accrue cca points,
her crazy antics, the weirdest clothes she wears, her hideous shoes.
my screwed up co-op teacher..
i cld jes go on :]
an yes, amanda, this wil be another helluva long longggg entry. (:
-
anw. went to the gallery an there was this mass of people there.
i had to crane my neck so badly jes to find grace, che an jeanne.
even louisa cldn find them in her mother clothes (:
hahahaheeeheehoohoo.
saw fuffles, mr ang(ha. he rems me. bet he alwys will. the girl who made him cry.)
saw miss ma(hmm. or mrs sth) who thought i was stil playin tennis. haha. i miss tennis sessions wit her :}
saw mrs bowness, mrs cha (stil lookin horrible, but now wit long hair, makes her look witchy), ms seah, mrs fernandez (ewww. bitch), mrs kee, mrs quek (flee fleee !!!), froggylaoshi.
then, we found mrs lee. yayyy, grinns merrily*
caught up wit her. abt amos, ana, us, her, everythinggg.
my form teacher ((((:
ohhh ohhh saw hannahh banananannana. heeheeheeheehee. an angie.
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ! (:**
then saw mrs cheong laoshi. mann.
she mocks me lik hell.
she insisted my mandarin is still as horrible as before :(
an that i speak lik a wai guo ren. saddeennns my heart*
i don wanna sound lik a foreigner ..
looks lik ngeeann didn do any good.
-
went up wit mrs lee to the staffroom an found mrs logan.
love her to bitss. returned her her muruku maker.
damnn. she mocker me for burnin myself makin muruku ):
hurrhurr.
told her i passed my chem test in cj.
she shook my hand.
told her i taught gillian chem.
she shook my hand.
funny behbayyy :>
she wore three stars on her blouse.
yellow blue pink( she wanted us to imagine its red).
haha malaysias national day.
medeka ? (:
talked to them for an hour or more. til jeanne had to rush off to meet steven.
mrs lee asked me to go back an relive teach.
haha i wanttt to !!!
nextyeatnextyear! yesyess grace ? :]
but i do fear the pantry womenn. oh yes. an hannah-fat-kwuan :<
-
crystal jade lunched wit louisa grace jeanne che an mitchell(i mean robin).
i miss them alll. all the times we spent together. all the times we had our differences. all the times weve been there for each other.
its amazingg.
tho we're not in the same sch anymore, we can jes talk nonstop lik we jes hanged out yest.
they- id never forget.
im want my daughter in sc. no way am i gonna send her anywhere else in the whole wide world.
cross my heart*

hello. byebye.

2004-08-31T14:57:00.000+08:00

went back to school after so long.
was late cos no one was at home to send me halfway.
whats new huh.
she's always lik that.
so reached ngeeann ard eleven twenty five.
an got so freaked out cos i didn wanna be late late. so i cabbed in from opposite an the bloddy cabbie talks so much.
growl. i wanted to tape his mouth :when i reached lt45 i realised i didn bring my student card.
haha well done. texted sharon. found out she didn on her phone after she didn reply me for AGES ! sharonn feel guilty now*
then texted her other phone an she didn on it either !
so sleepyme wound up sleepin outside the lt. lik i planned to whether i brought my student card or not.
tralalala.
it was gooood. halfway through a grp came to sit wit me an i had.. yes ! sleepin companions ((:
sweet.
finally after half an hr or so, ms sharon came out an mocked me for sleepin wit starngers.
ayy ayy.. its cool airite ! frumps in a frock**
so i went in an sat wit sharon, mark, jeff an junwei.
OMG ! bobby's soooo irritatin ! damn downright horny too.
"i lik balls"
lik wth ?
plus his hair an voice an liliness. eeyeer.
sent him a photo of lili i took in bstats class.
bet he used it as wallpaper (;
he's lovin it*
oh.but then, he started takin pictures of me wit my phone.
pisserrr. snarrl*
the teacher got so pissed wit us playin ard she almost chased us out of class.
sniggers sneakily* i don mind.
-
went wit sharon after bstats to meet mr mark !
ooohlala 8)
his hair is gross now tho.
lik.. eugene's leg hair :/
no further comments.
-
so glad that jill's prelims went well.
silly girl.
cheatin on that carbon dioxide lik that.
tskkk.
scully wrong laaa.
heeheehurhurhoohoo.
im a good shifu, am i ? *drapes on fur skins an prances ard.
-
oh my ! mark's corn is gonna explode :0
-
jaslyn if you don take care, your grey one wil explode too !
wild thing. so noisy. heehee :}
-
jaslyn !! ive got a picture of.. *silence ((:
-
the night crowd was boring today.
cept for that demanding woman.
want to scrimp on her cash so damn much.
discount here an there.
quite funny come to think of it. typical singaporean.
-
wanted to cab home cos it was so darn late.
plus wanlong wasn there to send me home either.
but ryan walked wit me.
that bugger..
kept laughin at me for bein scared of the 7th mth an all.
but hes quite weird.
sometimes we'l be talkin an talkin then when no one talks.
he jes laughs at me again.
whateverrr man.
learnt a new word from him today tho.
sth lik.. na bei. its bad.
tried to show him the wrong way out of woo mon chew.
wonder if he got stuck at the dead end.
flings confetti at the trees*
okhkay.
that was mean.
i apologise. wit great sympathy an sincerity :]
haaaa ! so there-

hey jill ! see this (:

2004-08-30T14:55:00.000+08:00

the exposed part of the eyeball is covered by the conjunctiva.
eyelids protect the eyeball an help control the amount of light enterin the eye !
cool stuffff (;

almost\perfect

2004-08-30T14:46:00.000+08:00

p3 workshop today.
went quite well. i guess.
but i didn lik amanda's mom.
she's so.. strict.
if i had a child lik amanda (a lil less noisy wld be good tho),
il prolly be so damn damn damn proud of her.
not bein some snobby priss an pullin her long face.
hello, your daughter here ??
yesss. i feel mean.
cos, in the first place, amanda doesn even seem to mind.
-
o wells.
mark did the church search sanctuary this week.
ohh mann. he's funny barnny.
he got so nervous when he saw the grp comin in,
he was lik: "so manyyy ?"
then he started blabberin at bullet speed an ran out of stuff to talk abt.
then he turned to me an whispered: "what should i say ?"
wahaha.
he looked so.. uhh.. pitiful. <">
hurrhurr.
-
gabriel peanut took over ashley
big words he used.
left me petrified. :}
he was so rahhh that when he asked the children to try genuflectin,
all of them did it.
no questions asked.
poor things.
they looked so frightenly scared.
mices squeakk*
-
oh i lik your cool red tracks lik boings.
wahahaha ((:
new shoes ay ?
took no notice.
why so ?
ok. im talkin rubbish i don even understand.
-
dylan got his first comm today cos his family is goin to india.
see. everybody's goin ):
-
went to jill's after church today.
stopped by macs to get dinner an perkerrs (;
sara lee coffee pound cake.
i think im havin macs overdose.
bleaah.
got a mc spicy double in a cheeseburger bun.
hahah. left the cashier lady confused cos she didn know how to tel them.
so she kept insistin theres no such thing until the pro-er guy came (:
wheee !
got it in the end an strolled out of macs a happy girl.
the red sticker said: special order- we're all out to make you happy (& fat). pouts lazily**
-
study session wasn that fruitful ay jill ?
kept divertin :0
from chem.. to pooja
to duchess an her destressin twerps,
to the yellow pages,
to post olevel adventures,
to siglap hill boy,
to her grandma smilin,
to four legged sacha,
to her cousins,
to contamination(which reminds me of smelly ashley- guy),
to not-smelly but bitchy ashley,
to downtown mark,
to literature&math,
to the scary pen&coin movin spirit thing,
to victoria's bf,
to her dumb ass class,
to almost eveerything except chem
well, at least there was occasionally prods to ask YOU to ask ME questions
which ended up wit question totally not related to chem. (eg. bouncingbeans)
haha. oh dear.
i fear your prelims tmr sweetums.
goodluckkk ! good luck transfer in progresss*
exothermic reaction.
hurrhurr. don scream :::))
so sick of chem ay ? we ended up watchin victoria secrets fashion show til my dad came.
heeheeheeheehee.
what great help i am ay ?
your shifu ? fat chance :(

jill's rather distraction radio: i don mind spendin everyday out on your corner in the pourin rain*

GO AWAYYY !!!

2004-08-27T12:11:00.000+08:00

yikkes ! someone crashedd my account an blabbered a whole load of crapp :/
shooo. shooo. go away !
i don want you ardd. dons my crisp baaboosingh suit an ushers you out**

pls take note:

2004-08-25T14:58:00.000+08:00

math
Originally uploaded by blimey-.

sweet ay (:
bradley drew it for gillian.
math lesson #1.

2004-08-25T13:01:00.000+08:00

the evil doctor sniggerin at me for eatin cockles.
jes cockles. didn even say raw.
GAHH.
but. alas, the two day mc.
hurhur.
the same doc who gave me a fri, sat mc last last week too (:
sweet thingg.
he jes chuckles too much *reaches into the deep sea of mcs.
anw. he said my tummy had alot of air.
sth abt havin food poisonin an acid is produced.
an the acid mixes wit alkaline.
thats why the gassy stomach.
ohhh. i miss mrs logan.
she worked so hard so i can get my A for Os.
i owe her so much.
chemistry wit david an logan.
memories kept within*

sad case.

2004-08-25T06:18:00.000+08:00

i think im more likely to get stomach expansion than food poisonin.
growll.
mark's raw cockles didn work.
neither did the green tea ice cream
nor the chocolate milk with green tea ice cream
or the tomyamsoup,
mooncake,
strawberry milkshake,
mushroom swiss,
chocolate cake,
kfc chocolatesoftserve,
bananaspilt pie,
fries,
horrible fresh-skimmed milk,
my special mayo-ketchup-chili-bbq sauce,
egg tart,
and jaslyn's too nutritious wheat an barley.
or shite. i think they must hav drowned the raw cockles.
suffocated.
turned them rebellious :(
*grim face.

2004-08-25T06:12:00.000+08:00

Hand me a world on a silver platter
and what good would it be ?
with no one to share,
with no one who truly cares for me.
some people want it all
but I don't want nothin at all
if it ain't got you baby
some people want diamond rings
some just want everything
but everything means nothing
if I ain't got you *

i love- everything about you.

2004-08-24T01:58:00.000+08:00

there is none like you.

no one else can touch my heart lik you do.

i could search for all eternity long

an find there is none lik you.

wish you were here*

smart arse

2004-08-23T13:52:00.000+08:00

Gillian

spoils

everything.

yucks.

sighin singh

2004-08-23T13:45:00.000+08:00

i wanna quit school an join the circus.

yeah right. lik who'l believe me.
but.. i wanna quit school.
im sure.
downright damn sure *grim nod.
talked to mommy abt it. grr.
she says: go tel your father. don tel me.
so i talked to daddy. he tried to convince me not to :/
but. its tough to change my mind once ive decided.
im sure everyone knows that.
yes, che ?

so.. I AM *collapses into a heap of merridandy.
when ?
I DON KNOW.
but.. soooooon (((:

che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che che

*this entry is partially dedicated to che. the light of my lifeeee. redblack /

oooh purdy (:

2004-08-22T14:58:00.000+08:00

ohhh today todayyy todayyy..
it was awesome !!!
well.. only after tuition ended.
i swear those sec 1s drive me nuts. all that mrs hung shite.
grrowll ! its gettin me pissed..
anw. wicked stuff started stuttin in whilst sittin under the vendin machine step. wheee !
my fav place :]
david came along an asked me to go for st pius feast day ((:
david: are you goin laterr ?
me: nope.
david: go larh.. why you don wanna go ?
me: cos james said hes gonna give us the invitation card an he didn so my mom doesn wanna go (sneakysacha gets james into trouble. *hurrr)
david: haiyah. don listen to his rubbish larh.
yayyy !
haha. ohkay. tel me im goin mad.
bang bang my baby got shot down.
then jocelyn came along.
an she kept me company til jaslyn came.
found out stuff. both of us. heehee (:
that silly girl tried takin horrid photos of me ! *snarls. idonlikit.
but i deleted them alll. ha ! oh.
she helpd me change my bluetoothphonename.
im proud to say that im now officially jajabing :>

jaslyn came at 6 sth. wearin the republic touchrubgyshirt an shorts. wahaha.
republic polytechnic printed over her bosom. bleah. siccckkk :>
an.. an.. she changed into skirt. strollin to the pews in her.. SPORTS SHOES *sniggersnigger.
crazed lil-indeeah-sixtyseven momma :}

ID LIK TO SAY THAT THE CHOCOLATE PIE WAS HEAVENLYYY 0:)
went back for second helpin but its all gone.
sad case ):
justin passed me my dinner plateee ! hoho.
i miss auntiechristine's lagsana :/
wit lips as thick as larp chiong. an eyebrows as bushy an eugene's legs, who can resist hmm, jaslyn ? *:)

celebrations was funkkayee !
gabriel peanuthead was some mad ass. frailin his hands al over the place.
think tj's stressin him out.
dax an mark went ard half naked an james wore boxers.
david, as usual, acted prissy. wahaha. he's really good laaa.
dr sim an dr lim.
yupp. it was all good *beams lik bheem.
didn see matthew tho. snazzy sweetpea ):
oh jaslyn. you shld stop bein so noisy durin mass. ohh you make people stare at us :/
hollerr if you want smelly breath wit fish crackerrs !!!
bussed to the 13 bus stop wit jaslyn. an stopped by seveneleven to get a drink.
hooboy ! biggg mistake. wound up buyin one wholleeeee pint of ben&jerrys phishfood.
i lik fudge fishes an i won deny.
then jaslyn merrily abandoned me wit threequarters of the tub an hopped on the bus.
ha. revenge is sweeet. she left as a three-spooned woman. *sly grinn.
my shwee-hearrtt*

an yes jaslyn C* is gay. he liks pink an wears purple shirts.
gaylord farker.
i realised my mistake (: thank god.
im scared of tony. he keeps talkin to me. but i don even know him. i don wanna mangle my brain ):

hurr. i saw stick man wit yaoming. yucckkssss.

i love my half lim* half larp. teehee :]

whooopeedooo !!!

2004-08-21T13:51:00.000+08:00

see sarah. im bloggin *beamss sleazily.
haiyah. YOU JES WANT TO GO SEE MOTHER MOTHER TMR !
think i don know..... cunningggg ((:
you vetter go cleaan vour vroom !!

omg i feel so stupid.
i was rushin. rush. rushed. an.. an.. GARRHH !! the stupid dreamweaver wasn due til 12 MIDNIGHT.
yes. someone prod me.. or bite, scratch me, weave me. jes do sth larh.
cos i feel so.. used. groowwl !
tralala. im a boh doh un-stylomylo momomonster.
hoho. hurhur. haha. i didn finish it :/

down there ! check out peiching's eyebrow.
`
up there ! cool ? hurrrr :]
swaggers ard with bottle full of bub*

oh, an thankssss sharon for helpin wit the dreamweavin. you horny mama !
sendin files to acrylic woman an all. you sly fox :>
heehee.

im a simple girl who liks to write.
sounds familiar sarah ? *(:

~i think i shld be colourblind. i cant match colours for nuts. at least that gives me an excuse. yesss. nods*

you sang for me.

2004-08-21T13:19:00.000+08:00

above all powers

above all kings

above all nature an all created things

above all wisdom an all the ways of man

you were here before the world began

above all kingdoms

above all thrones

above all wonders the worlds has ever known

above all wealth an treasures of the earth

thats the way to measure what youre worth

the air force - * ((:

relivin the past.

2004-08-16T13:58:00.000+08:00

saw him today

thought of two years back when i totally hated him.
scanned the blog i had wit louisa back then.
we used to be so close, bloggin down our feelins. everything. love an hate.
all the bitchin an cooin. i wish it stayed the same.
sometimes i really question myself if we'd ever end up together.
but as it is, tough luck sacha. try harder. hurrr.

10.07.02:there's nothing wrong with liking him.. true. but he's quite screwed. i know its not his fault that he's screwed and nobody forced me to perve at him. but argh. i dunno man. thats jez how i feel now. like you- confused.

amazingly weird how the feelings had hardly changed.

i love him but only on my own*

il miss him

2004-08-16T12:06:00.000+08:00

the whole seah family. left.
il miss brandon. he mugs lik no one ive ever known.
amazin. how much people you meet can make an impact in your life.
not that theyre supersignificant in my life or sth. infact.. im barely close to them.
but the way they jes leave, so suddenly, its lik leavin a porthole in my life.
whoopeedoo. ha. sudden porthole.
o welllss.. but nonetheless (((: there were huggers an hugged *swells with glee.
auntychristine.charmaine.brandon.russell.darryl.
darryl was funnnyyy. he hugged sarah first. then i went: are you scared of me darryl ?
an he flung himself on me. files an all. sweet thing :]
THEYRE COMIN BACK FOR CHRISTMAS AN NEW YEARRR !!!
MUCH better than nth.

jes realised. maybe..solitaire's not an obssession for me.
its jes another way of escapin reality.
when i play.. id think: ive got sth to do now. i cant do anything else. letme forget abt it.
well done sacha. its workin so far. continue escapin reality an you may jes tumble in deeper an lose it.
-
hoho. walked to buy e papers jes now.
THEN it started pourin crazily *pouts a pot of posies.
i hav totally NO idea why i didn get an umbrella. dumbass :\
passedby haagen daz an saw jeremy. al dressed up. so i went in to talk to him.
hurr. anyway it was rainin an i didn hav anywhere to go.
BUT omg ! clever boy ! he's an 18yrold supervisor now :0
an they finally got rich enough to buy their own ladder. hurrr (:
ah then i carried on the journey home wit daddy's HUGE flipflops.
tried to run. but wit al that rain makin it so slippery i ended up prancin instead. blushes furiously***
in the end i gave up bogglin in those an walked barefooted back home.
then i remembered aus.
how auntysock wld take joshua an joel bring us to coles to buy groceries
an il go barefooted for the fun of it cos al of them dere look so comfortable walkin shoeless.
an joshua wld wanna walk barefeet wit me. cute boy. sadly he threw too much tantrums. tskk.
i miss them. all.
migration sucks.
growl. you make me wanna hurl.

saturday.borin day.

2004-08-15T14:52:00.000+08:00

found out sth horrid today : leon smokes *gasspppss !!!
so wasted.
sigh.
an i thought he was a good boy.
calista went for mass today ((:
ohh shes such fun ! al wriggly an bendable.
an its so sweeeeet when she props my labtop on her lap jes sittin there.
my only small girl cousin. iloveher *glances wistfully at maisy mouse.
had class this morning. at eleven. cabbed there cos mommy wasn at home. prolly gillianin ard.
alright lemme be gay for a moment.
before i left sarah said: come home early. its the first day of the 7th month today.
that SWEEEET lamb. pass me the tissues pls. i wanna cry.
im such a bugger full of fear.
damn it :/
stop it now.

mooney singh \ friday 13th

2004-08-14T17:53:00.000+08:00

hoho. skipped sch on friday the 13th.
STILL CANT BELIEVE I SKIPPED MARK'S LESSON !!!! *HEAVES INTO A PILE OF DUST.
oh nvmmm !!! ive got a make up lesson wit him. all alone an *silence (: hurrr !
the doctor was awesome ! he gave me TWO days mc when im..uhmm.. barely sick.
hurrr. sweet thing. told him i needed one for 'cca' tmr.
he sniggered at me tho.. bugger :/
ohhhhmyyy !!! JASLYN an i sat on the parapet of ESPLANADE ON THE BAY (dere were fishes within watchin the encore of dimsumdollies) an hatched evil plans *smirks gleefully.
carry out our plan we MUST !
show that sleazy blue skirt smurf what we want.
give her all our powerful tips. mai sng sng.
btw. its lee kUan yew. don deny it (:
i tel you the fishes love timsumdollies national day red an silver dresses too.
i look fat beside selena tan in real life. blearghh.
sad case- yes indeed *nods painfully. an waves sparklin peach drink ard. iloveit (:
took the midnight NR7 bus back an walked to upper changi frm kembangan.
happy tired legs paddlin away. whooppeee !! :D
mooney singh at substation was goooood. livin in the land of durian eaters an icekachang :0
he really shld join sg idol. wit his turban an al. his black turban (; funkaye.
mommy+gillian=unendin crap.
the end.

2004-08-13T14:46:00.000+08:00

damn tired larh. travel to school. travel home. long rides twentyfourseven.
no shite.
bstats lect suckks. e lecturer's a jackass. lik..MUST YOU CHASE SOMEONE OUT EVRY LECT YOU LOSER ??
he makes me boil. pass me my peanuts pls*
i miss jesh so much. she texted me wwhile i was doin my lms quiz.
twentynine days ! TWENTYNINE seems blastin long ):
anyway was on 171 to orchard. an sat next to this air force guy.
ahhh D*.
owells. he poked me rather much rudely on my arm when i was partially dozin off as usual on the bus.
that.. cold finger.. bleaghh :0
asked me if i lived ard bukittimah area cos he wanted directions..
hurrhurr. tough luck :\ didn know where the hell it was.
i think i pissed him off cos i kept givin him this blur look an the i-jes-woke-up-so-don-expect-me-to-know look.
so clever boy decided to whip out his GLAMOUROUS ehmmm.. 8250 an flashed me the address
ha. stil didn know. too bad.
but he didn stop talkin. talked.talked.talked. chatterbox that boy.
i wldn mind talkin if i hadn found that he was frm sembawang instead of good ol bukitbatok hq (;
things i found out: commonwealth sec. njc. 23 yrs old. stays in chuachukang. teachin bonded. is goin to orchard. starts class tmr. has a funny accent. sounds very much lik D* talks very much too. three stripes. offered tons of scoholarships. has a friend livin in eastcoast. thinks people who try burnin their uniforms are retards. goin to meet his friend. keeps sayin that its fated we met on the bus likwhatever. an is happy that "ive got someone next to me".
hurrr. that how much he went on. haha :
omggg. i was so happy when it was my stop.
he was: shakehands* my name is jaron. whats yours. uhhh. oggayy.
oh !!! I SAW TANIA IN TOWN (((:
ok. nth much to gloat abt actually. bleahhh :\

cutedavid (:

hunkky dorry

2004-08-13T03:01:00.000+08:00

went out wit yvonne on tuesday. evil schmizt.. supposed to hav a studin night ;)
went shoppin danglin on our rather tight purse strings *jiggles merrily.
waas good tho. hurr. she didn scold me much((: jes kiddin babe..
you an your pasir ris guy ar.. cunnnnniinnngg !
oh yes, btw, its normal to scream while crossin the road darling..
its to alert cars.
grace's party was last night !!
wicked stuff id ssay ! hahaha :D
amanda came before that to watch amazin race an sg idol.
piggedd outtt craazzzzilyyyy ! :\
whooaaa WHOOAA WHOOOOOAAA !!!! stil feelin dizzily fat.
then we headed off right after wanlong kept callin her. buzzin bee bonnet bugger.
ha. an im certain he got fooled wit my pro pro hokkien. jes admit it amanda. im fluent (:
face it ! smirks*
grace had SO much food at her party i tel you. plus that smelly vanillavodka wit ribena.
everything felt so weird when i reached dere.
lik relivin the past an the present.. people whom i used to spent almost the whole day wit an people who i stil am.
deres melvin an sam whom used to see 24/7 last time. i miss my babyyyy. sniggersnigger*
an now deres ryan, toi, wanlong, tang, cedric, amanda, kevin an louis.
frumps* why cant everyone remain.don go.stay.don leave.
oh yes. an nic !!! wahah. he's full of rubbish larh. agree amanda ? (;
wit his tight gandalf jeans. selfobsessedcrazysod. heehee.
then.. OMGGG!! TANG !! he did this horrible lie-on-his-back stunt which made him look lik an overturnedscrewedup snail drinkin vodka.
an melvin did the same. but this time lookin rather much tangled. mad dogs <:
an amanda powdered grace from the back, conveniently powderin me too..
thankyouverymuchamanda.i needed to look lik an old lady who smelled of babies last night :/
oh what funnn, pourin vodka into ryan's mouth. (((: splashed him wit vodka down his shirt. HA. who asked them to make me stand over him. an tang wit his terribly bad instructions. wonder how he became manager.
amanda asked irene to see what kinda guys i lik.
apparently irene got hers an graces correct/ haha but she said i lik sporty guys.
hmmms. thats not true. not very much. notthatilikthemsissyeither.

YESYES ! TAUGHT GILLIAN MATHS WHEN I GOT HOME (:
feelin so accomplished an motherly. ha.
this settles my good deeds for the rest of the year.
i can be bad frm now on. atonement had been done.
starts tearin down cobwebs an red chilli peppers frm the ceilin fast an furious***

love them. the whole lot. verymuch.

at least i tried

2004-08-10T16:59:00.000+08:00

anyone can become angry.

but to be angry

with the right person,

to the right degree,

at the right time,

for the right purpose

and in the right way..

that is not easy.

ha ! bradley said that my present is the best in the whole world (:

bellows an glowers in pride* grrrooovvyy.

bobby

2004-08-10T16:25:00.000+08:00

sniff*
i want my fish boiled.
-
an yes i talked to brandon on sunday (:
O what bliss. nice good clever brandon.

insane in the membranee

2004-08-08T15:56:00.000+08:00

OH SHUCKSS ! forgot to add(; ive got a tattoo!!!! mickey mouse. courtesy of jaslyn. (((:
you wanna our father wit mickey ay ?
ohhhh.. yes. deres this man who jes barged in durin the gospel an started bellowin an all.
scary cakes. he was furious an ragin. lik.. he was gonna beat up someone.
stepped up to the sanctuary an went straight to fr greg an shouted an growled. lioness. hurrrr.
dere was 2 cars blockin his hse an so..yarh HOW WIDE IS YOUR GATE PRISS ???
anyway he shldn hav done that. crazy bob. hrmph.
then this woman came an joined in the shoutin. evidently seizin to shine in the spotlight. sneakyy wormtail.
ha. he got pulled away by wardens.
go on.. go to woodbridge. join tony. hurhur :/
go to jail or sth larh. so disrespectful-

jack an janet

2004-08-08T15:15:00.000+08:00

oh dear. aidan found out who am i.
im anonnymous no more.
why cant he be content an remain as mr m&ms huhh.
cunnin fellow. called me after mass an i.. i.. ANSWERED IT !!!!! dang-
me: hello
smelly boy: silence*
me: breathsintophone*
smellyboy: sacha right ?
me: ahhh. no. im janet. who are you ?
smellyboy: don bluff i knw you are sacha.
me: who are you ???
smellyboy: jaslyn told me she was goin to your hse.
me: crazy fellow. bye.
then i answered jaslyn's call.
OH GOLLY MOLLY. i regret. sillysilly.
pigg out day today wit jaslyn today.
yes. again ): bahhhh. taps cocooned stomach*
she saw C*. matoutbreakweirdglasses boy. gay shirt too. ayay (:
sat in e middle of e linear park for awhile an rested our tired achin legs. tryin to avoid evil eyes pickin on us. yesyes. we tried very hard. me wit my black montrouschand an tissue frailin al over. ahh.
big benned an went to econ an went abakin. wit m&ms. meltin ones. terribleeeee. cheaters they all. it was SO wet an soggy. more egg pls* nods
OH YES YESSYESSS !!!! someone called mark. YES MARK ! ZEEMARKPHILIP (((::
jasss: hello. discontinues my blood circulation*
mark: hello.
zanypickle: is this jack ?
hunkymarky: nah im not jack. yo this mark.
groovypickels: oh sorrry wrong no.
mrmark: alright *sniggersnigger ((:::
wheeeeeeeeeeheehee. jump ard dereliously*
oh an saw bro paul in st jerome's library. sit in the shelves., waitin for us to open him up. wit his lak pati moustache an all. sleeee-zyyy. bush-a-bub. really shagged now.
BUT I WON FORGET OUR DATE ON FRIIIIDAYYY. cantwait. you meek irish lamb. stew pie.

im gonna sleep. bells chime a monestary tune* hark !! i beckon.

fall not a tear

2004-08-08T15:06:00.000+08:00

the reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. maybe they always have been and will be. maybe we've lived a thousand years before this one and in each of them we've found each other. and maybe each time we've been forced apart for the same reasons. that means that this goodbye is a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude of what will come.
when i look at you, i see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you have lived. and i know i have spent every life before this one searching for you. not someone like you, but you, for your soul and mine must always come together. and then, for a reason neither of us understands, we've been forced to say good-bye.
i would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and i promise to do all i can to make sure it does. but if we never meet again annd this is truly goodbye, i know we will see each other in another life. we will find each other again, and maybe the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times we've had before.in times of grief and sorrow i will hold you and rock you, and take your grief and make it my own. when you cry, i cry and when you hurt, i hurt. and together we will try to hold back the flood of tears and despair and make it through the potholed streets of life.

happy days

2004-08-07T17:35:00.000+08:00

haa ! wicked day it was today. yess indeed.
went to sch . at 8 ! slept on the bus again.
went for infa . blastin mad evil teacher.
went through TWO hours wit flabby boy an st-gay-pats. plus super lame jokes frm ms pms.
terrible ! terrible !!!!!
whoawhooaaawhoaaaaa. cannot breathe* dizzy dizzy**
cannot make it !!!!!
oh . but ALL was good after that ((::
oh holy moleyerly wickkeedd !!
skipped oral comm lect. yet agaain.
O wells. went to print my microecons notes. an im feelin so downright accomplished. glowers in pride**
i think i can be a printin aunty when i grow up. i wil be considerin that rather much seriously after i fail al my common tests.
oh yes.
printin was quite screwed tho. no connection an the corridor was DAMN smelly. dead rat.
hogged e desk for abit wit my sexy baby to check out friendsterrrr !!!
gatsby gatsby kiwi shoe shineeee an act cute acrylic pose. sleazzzy stufff :\
tralalala. headed down to townnn to go shoppinn.. much much many many load of stuff to buy.
did it all. an i ate my fish sandwich frm long johns ((: gorgeousfridayfishlegs !
then went lido to meeet ms prissy. jasssslynnnnn. crazy woman. she said she grew fat
RUBBISHHHH i tel you. stil one bean pole. WHERES THE FATS SKINNY ??
ive got mar-ke's no.. so you know what you meeeee
nine eight four four... ahummm * fleetin seahorses
silly bugger kept laughin at me when those indian club guys came along wit that join our club which wil prolly be flooded in black fog thinggg.
damn it larh i didn cower in fear !!! ):
stood tall strong an mighty i did. lik PATRICK ! holds a snake in my hands an snatches an oily grasshopper frm under my desk*
then dere was yami yogurt !!! ooohh yyaaaahhhmmeeee ! wit granolas ! aann..an... KHONG GUAN guidescookies (: MINT too !!!
HARIBO YOU DON FORGET !!! i am omnipotent *hovers ard your headdd.
rem to pick up your phone an listen to people killin !!!!! sniggersnigger*
who am i ? im spidermann . psssssssss*
OHHHH AN JASLYN TRIED CALLINNN MARRRRKKK.
CRAZY PEACH !!!
went LIK THIS :
jas: hello is this mark ?
guy: who's this
jas: are you mark ?
guy: who are you. im jack.
jas: oh sorry ! wrong no.
hurhur. crazy shittzums. imissyoustil.
nvm. today we bake cookies ! famous fields ! mufkies (:
soundin snazzy babies !
oh yes ! i saw JANNNNN(hi mark.. BYE mark:). an mingli an brandon(hrm) an melissa an celene an yingying an ashhaaaa an amanda an beatrice an gladys an sabrina(noseinair*) an sam tan an katwu an puaylinpau($13pls) an ateeeeeeeeeee so muchhhhhhh !!!!!!

i wish-

2004-08-07T16:55:00.000+08:00

when i ask you to listen to me an you start givin me advice , you hav not done what i asked .
when i ask you to listen to me an you begin to tel me why i shldn feel that way , you are tramplin on my feelins .
when i ask you to listen to me an you feel you hav sth to solve my problem , you hav failed me, strange as that may seem .
listen ! all i asked was that you listen, not talk to or do - jes hear me .
advice is cheap ; 20 cents will get you both dear abby an billy graham in the same paper .
i can do for myself ; im not helpless - maybe discouraged an falterin , but not helpless .
when you do sth for me that i can an need to do for myself , you contribute to my fear an inadequacy .
but when you accept as a simple fact that i do feel what i feel , no matter how irrational , then i can quit tryin to convince you an can get abt this business of understandin whats behind this irrational feelin . when thats clear , the answers are obvious an i don need advice .
irrational feelins make more sense when we understand whats behind them .
perhaps thats why prayer works , sometimes , for some people - because God doesn give advice or try to fix things . He jes listen an let you work it out for yourself .
so pls listen an jes hear me .
an if you want to talk , wait a minute for your turn an il listen to you .